Advice on Mother in Law?

I just need some advice on what to think really- my mother in law is a great mum and grandma. I really do love her alot like my own mum but in the last few weeks she has completely stressed me out.

I'm 39.3 weeks pregnant and when i told her last year we were going to have another baby and i wanted her in the ward with me she promised she would be there. She is a foster carer and looks after other peoples children who r on drugs etc.

She got a drug withdrawal baby 4 months ago and already had a 3 year old. She promised that the baby would be gone by the time our daughter arrived. Since the baby came, the 3 year old has become wild, violent and constantly encouraging my 2 year old daughter to say no to us, hit and throw tantrums.

I'm stressed as it is being 39 weeks pregnant but now she is telling me that she doesnt have anyone to watch the baby anymore so she cant be there for the delivery.

I feel guilty for being so mad at her when i know she is doing a good deed, but putting other peoples kids first when I need her and her grand daughters need her seems just unreasonable to me.. She now says that she is going to keep the 3 year old till they find him a permanent home but with court being continuously delayed because his mother never turns up means she will have him for another 6-12 months. What do you think i should do? She knows we dont want her to keep him because of the influence he has over our daughter but yet i dont want her to miss out on seeing her grandkids by not allowing her to bring him over.

Please no stupid replies from people with too much time on their hands, ive gotten one before about having an abortion at 38 weeks to sell for chinese food and i was not impressed so please dont be mean, I'm really stressed about this and just need abit of advice on whether im being reasonable or whether there is a different way of seeing things.

Thanks everyone xxxAdvice on Mother in Law?
Tell your mother in law she can visit you in your home where you play by your rules. Make sure your husband is there when she visits. If that 3 year old starts to get out of control, tell your mother in law this visit is over.Advice on Mother in Law?
This is a difficult situation, but you have to applaud your mother in law for helping these poor kids, it is not there fault to be in the situation they are.. Your kids are lucky they have two loving parents, and will get a decent upbringing..I am sure your ma in law, loves her grandkids, but what is she to do, she cannot just dump on these kids, when she has a duty to fullfill.. The child she has who is influencing your daughter, must have discipline about whats right and wrong, and your mother in law needs to instill this in the child and not let him get away with everything..If she cannot do this then perhaps someone can sit with her foster child while she sees your kids alone..Advice on Mother in Law?
Hi.

Firstly, congratz on ur pregnancy. Secondly, thanks to ur mother-in-law. Why don't u, sit down at night with ur husband and mother-in-law, when the children are asleep and talk abt this situation. Tell them how u are feeling rite now. Tell ur mother-in-law that u treat her as ur own mother and u really nid her to be present when u are going thru labour.

Tell her it would help u, if the 3yr-old culd be dsciplined and that u will be more than welcomed if he changed for the better. It shuld be a win-win situation, whereby she feels happy and u do too. So, u shuld sacrifice some things while some others she do too. You must treat all the kids equally. Ur mother-in-law would be happy if u put in some effort in the other kids as well.Think, what makes ur mother-in-law happy..do it...and i hope she helps u, when u nid her.=)

FreeHugs.

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